Hostile Acquisitions

RE: "Operation: Ork Explosion"

(This is a recap of Season 1, to review our achievements and the assets we acquired).

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FROM: KRAUSER EISENBLUT, TECHPRIEST SECUTOR
TO: DURACELL, MASTER OF THE BATTERY
SUBJECT: RE: “Operation: Ork Explosion”

May the Omnissiah transmit this missive safely to you, Lord Duracell. We are continuing the repairs of Imperial Battlecruiser 20,000 leagues under the sea. The weather continues fine.

As per your request, I am reporting on Operation: Ork Explosion and all related Missions.

Mission: Planetfall
Primary Objective: Retake a lost Prometheum Mine from Orks for fuel (also strategic asset)
Secondary Objective: Rescue downed Special Forces aboard Valkyrie, neutralise secessionists
New Assets: Prometheum Mine, constructed the Metal Pussy Wagon from salvage
Commendation: Psyker Ganymede and Lt. Thesius Handon exploded everything save the Prometheum Mine

Mission: Torchbearer
Primary Objective: Hold the reacquired Prometheum Mine from Ork counter-attack
Secondary Objective: Return the reacquired Prometheum Mine to operational state
New Assets: 18 reacquired Servitors, 5 Flamers, now affixed to Servitors
Notes: Servitors are ideal for Flamer-wielding troops, able to get in close-range
Commendation: Medical Officer Anton Rex exploded an Ork Mekaniak damaging the Servitors

Mission: Dogcatcher
Primary Objective: Neutralise native warbeast, explode it if necessary
Secondary Objective: Capture native warbeast alive, allowing for further study
New Assets: Domesticated native warbeast, named Callisto, controlled by Psyker Ganymede
Notes: Warbeast Callisto natural fortitude ideal for bionic conversion possibilities
Commendation: Scribe Ernest Hemmingway for aiding in successful trapping

Mission: Farmer Freedom
Primary Objective: Liberate loyal citizens of the Imperium from secessionists
Secondary Objective: [CLASSIFIED AS PER SURGEON’S WARNING OF MEDICAL OFFICER ANTON REX]
Requisition Requested: 1,000 air-tight standard containers to contain Biohazard Heresy
Notes: Encountered native fauna, tested for high toxicity, 150% fatality rate
Recommendation: All strange flowers with euphoric properties must be reported immediately

Mission: Not Exploding the Ork Base
Primary Objective: Reconnaissance Ork Forward Operating Base near Promethium Mine
Secondary Objectives: Rendez-vous with lost regiment, the Pale Riders
Special Parameters: Do NOT explode the base, for future reconnaissance
Notes: Orks still show up well in night vision goggles, despite everything being green anyway
Demerits: Ork base NOT exploded, as per orders

Mission: Exploding the Ork Base
Primary Objective: Neutralise the Ork Forward Operating Base from previous oversight
Secondary Objective: Destroy fleet of Orks’ water-based ships
Commendations: To entire squad for burning Ork structures but preserving a working foundry
Notes: A Servoarm is long enough to plant melta bombs on ship’s hull at dock

Mission: Ramrod
Primary Objective: Penetrate main Ork Bastion, neutralise anti-aircraft for full assault
Secondary Objective: Hijack Ork train-like vehicle to infiltrate Ork Bastion
Commendations: To the Pale Riders regiment for swift boarding action

Mission: Mile High Club
Primary Objective: Immediately following Ramrod, destroy the escaping Ork airship
Secondary Objective: Record the heroism of Lt. Thesius Handdon
New Assets: Footage of Lt. Thesius Handdon in action
Commendation: To [CORRECTED BY MEDICAL OFFICER ANTON REX] only Lt. Handdon for my rescue

Final Mission: Nautilus
Primary Objective: Neutralise the main threat of Orks, their looted Battlecruiser in the sea
Secondary Objective: Do not damage said looted Battlecrusier
Method: We sunk the ship, causing only minimal water damage while drowning all Orks on-board
New Assets: 1 salvageable Battlecruiser, 1 [CLASSIFIED BY ROGUE TRADER EXECUTIVE ORDER]
Notes: We only pierced the hull at 2 points. All other exploding damage caused by Orks
Commendation: To [CORRECTED BY MEDICAL OFFICER ANTON REX] only Lt. Handdon for his leadership

The repairs to the Battlecruiser continue on schedule. Please inform the Archmilitant that I will be unable to participate in missions for an estimated 87 days 9 hours at this rate. – K

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All your bases are belongs to us

60 grots and 30 orks prove almost no difficulty when you point anti aircraft guns at them… half the squad still die in the process though while taking the promethium mine

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All the cannon are belongs to us

Once at the village, the squad proves ruthless in killing armed civilians, because they pointed guns at them. Anyone that didn’t fight back was considered friendly; in other words corpses… if that was even left… The thing that excited the tech priest most was the anti aircraft gun stationed at the village as well as the truck that was converted to carry it. Being a hive worlder and still shaped by it, the flat bed truck, now with a mounted anti aircraft gun was named “the Metal Pussy Wagon.” Orks beware!

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A small detour

Running through the jungles, the mercenaries found that they had a stowaway the whole time, a ratling who happened to pick a bad place to nap and a storm trooper who got trapped in a crashed ship. The stormtrooper informs them of the cannon that was responsible for grounding aircraft. Everyone decides to raid the village containing the anti aircraft gun

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planet fall (literally)

The Imperial Guard; the Hammer of the Emperor. Rogue Trader; those that bind the stars together. Armsmen of a rogue trader? Mercenaries…. The one leading this mission: some playboy nobleman looking for an adventure. The rest: a biomancer with a dry sense of humor and a gangsta tech priest from Necromunda, all “hand picked” by the rogue trader on a highly “important” mission.

S212

Planetfall begins as the band of “heroes” fall literally onto the planet as their transports gets shot down. The group has to navigate through the dangerous jungles of Skyrnne in order to even have a chance to capture the promethium mine. The squads fights through the jungle, the orks and the mind boggling mind bog that seeks to rape (without lube). At night, orks, clad in black, throwing ninja stars ambush.

Yet the most messed up part is how the sergeant of the squad is still seem to be in the mood for some hanky panky with the psyker… (who might not even be a lady…)

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Are we there yet...?

Our band of misfits find themselves on some kind of secret mission onto the planet first, picked partly because the captain kind of wanted them off the ship. The mission, capture a promethium dredge mine on the planet surface, call in reinforcement from the mother ship using psychic link all done in secret without notice from other friendly guard regiments on the planet, because what kind of rogue trader captain wants to share the loot anyways…?

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